Ok, so I know you are all going to tell me this is NORMAL 2 year old behavior. I understand that 2 year olds are belligerent and challenging, but I don't know what to do!!
First of all: this "NO!" word has to go!! (Anyone else with me on that one??) I ask her to stop doing something, or to do something and she, more often than not, screams "NO!" Its INFURIATING! And not acceptable! How do you get them to learn that it is not acceptable behavior?
Second: the "MINE!" needs to be banished as well. (I can't be alone on that one either) I was very careful when I was teaching Hailey how to talk that I RARELY, if EVER said something was "mine." I usually said something like "Mommy's" or "Hailey's" I didn't want her to pick up "MINE!" But low and behold, she learned it anyway. I'm sure this was a inevitability, but I hoped (vainly) that the fact I didn't teach it to her would help.
Third: the ATTITUDE. The "what-are-you-gonna-do-about-it-mom" looks. The rolling the eyes. The stomping and screaming. I thought that this attitude wouldn't come until we were in the pre-teens. Guess I'm in trouble. If she's this bad when she's not even 2....I don't even want to know what she's going to be like when she's 12!
Now, I don't believe in spanking as a primary form of discipline, but I will admit that I do use it on occasion. ONLY AFTER everything else has failed. Sometimes it is the ONLY thing that gets through to her. I don't enjoy it, by any means. So if any moms have any other suggestions, I'M ALL EARS! I'm not ready to go gray yet...but I'm about there!
Monday, March 17, 2008
Any other MOM's with me??
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5 comments:
So you just basically summed up everything I am dealing with Melissa. I have NO idea what to do about it. I have had to spank her to get her to do things and I hate it. I really wish I had some answers for you and me. I have heard this gets worse when they are three. I will let you know if I figure anything helpful out. Good luck!
Oh Aubrey, I am so sorry to say that this is normal but I am all the way there with you. Jackson started when he was about 20 months. I finally figured out how to deal with most of his tantrums...and then he actually turned two and they went to a whole new level, which I didn't think was possible. I asked my mom how long it would last and she said it's called terrible 2's because that's just it. She said until he's 3. Well I freaked right out when I heard that. If it starts early, shouldn't it end early? Apparently not. We have tried everything. Spanking does absolutely nothing for us. We don't believe in it either, but I have tried it a few times and he always either hits me back or scratches me. The only thing that even remotely works is time out in his crib (he's still in one). I now say, "If you don't stop you'll go in your crib," and it usually works. Sometimes I ask him if he wants to do what I asked or go in his crib and he'll say crib, so it doesn't always work but usually. You could try time out wherever she won't like to go. The other thing is distraction. In the middle of defiance at its worst, if I bring up playing ring around the rosies or something he'll usually calm down and play with me. That "mine" thing, we NEVER taught Jackson that but somehow he also learned it. I think he's got cabin fever though, as soon as it gets warm again and we can go outside I think he'll be generally happier. Here's hoping! Sorry, what a novel this turned out to be. If you didn't figure it out, I completely agree with you!
Bailee's right there too. The "Mine" thing is the worst! Especially on Tuesdays when I have McKinley. They both walk around saying mine and crying about it all day long! Distraction usually works for me, but sometimes it's hard to remember to try that when you're in the heat of the moment.
Welcome to the "Terrible Twos". Unfortunately this is "normal" but it doesn't mean you have to just lay down and deal with it. This is a very impressionable age for kids, and if you don't help them CTR then it will make things worse down the road.
We find that if Jasmin throws a tantrum, we don't acknowledge it. If she realizes that she gets attention from that behavior, she will continue to do it. Spanking is definitely a last resort, and usually just have to threaten it (and act like we are walking towards her) and she gets the point. Michelle has put her in "time-out" a couple times, which meant she was put in her crib until she calmed down.
Good luck! And once again, welcome to motherhood! =)
I don't even dare say it...the Two's have been tolerable at our house with the 2 girls so far. It's the THREES that were the killer with Maddie. So at least you are getting it over with now, and she'll be an angel by 3. :)
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